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Why Being Pissed Off Is a YOU Problem

“If it comes, let it come. If it goes, it’s ok, let it go. Let things come and go. Stay calm, don’t let anything disturb your peace, and carry on.” 

― Germany Kent

Many years ago, I used to get upset about a lot of things. If I felt I was wronged somehow, it would send me into a fit of anger at whatever or whoever I perceived to be the culprit. Whether it was some inconsiderate driver, an asshole boss, or some random person on the internet who didn’t think like I did, I would allow that person to get me upset. I allowed them to have control over my feelings.

But I don’t allow other people to get me upset anymore. And that’s because I realized being pissed off at something or someone else only hurts me. I no longer allow others to get me upset because it is not worth my time or energy. I guard my emotions and don’t allow them to be used by others. Now I think instead of react.

But, in reality, other people cannot get me upset.

And here is why.

I am the only person who can get ME upset. That is a ME problem.

YOU are the only person who can make YOU upset. That is a YOU problem.

The Power Of Choice

pissed off
Photo by olichel on Pixabay

One of the great things about life is choice. You can choose to do anything you want. You can also choose not to do something if you don’t want. No one is forcing you to do anything.

You can choose to get upset or not. I can be a complete assbag to you, but it is your choice and your decision whether you get upset. When you allow others to get you mad, it can ruin your day. I know it does because I have been there. I’ve been pissed off plenty of times over the past four and a half decades.

We ruminate on things we are pissed about. If only that person could see it my way or if I could just teach that person a lesson, things would be better. But, that’s bullshit and you know it.

There will always be reasons for getting upset. There are 7.6 billion people on this planet. Many of them have different opinions than you. Some of them will piss you off. But when we spend our time being pissed off at others for something we cannot control, it stops us from enjoying life. It allows others to control how we act and think.

How much time are you wasting being angry or upset over trivial things such as what others do?

You cannot control what others do or think so there is no reason to focus on them. Focus on yourself and what you can control. Focus on your problems instead of what you perceive to be other people’s problems.

Mel Robbins, the creator of the 5-second rule, talks about feelings all of us have. She says these feelings are natural. But, the thoughts and actions we take based on those feelings are a choice.

You will get mad occasionally and this is normal. We all get mad. It is human nature. But, instead of focusing on your feelings, focus on your reaction to those feelings. You can control your thoughts and actions. You can control what you do and say. And you have the power to not be pissed off at what others do.

We all have the ability to choose one thought over another. We can choose what and how we think.

Is being pissed at someone or something useful? Does it serve a purpose other than believing you are right?

The answer is no. And being pissed off by choice is detrimental to not only you but everyone one around you.

But, you need to understand you can only control what YOU do.

Responsibility Belongs To You

pissed off
Photo by Camille Orgel on Unsplash

You have the right to get pissed off. You have the right to not like something or someone. But those emotions are a YOU problem.

YOU are the only person who has responsibility for YOUR emotions.

I am the only one responsible for MY emotions.

If I do something which pisses you off, I am not responsible for your feelings towards me. I may be an asshole, but that still doesn’t make me responsible. Likewise, I can’t blame you for upsetting me.

Getting upset over what others do is hurting you and only you. Each of us has our own unique experiences and our own unique way of doing things. Embrace it. Learn from it. You do what makes you happy and let others do what makes them happy.

Or you can remain pissed off and let others control your feelings. Your choice. Because there is always a choice.

My choice is to lead with love and kindness.

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  1. Christa Christa

    Hi, Jeff.
    How did you start to control your feelings when you were upset? I see the value in this article, but I do not know what steps to take to not allow things to make me mad or get annoyed to the point of anger. What did you do to start making this change in your life? I honestly don’t know where to start.

  2. Johnny Johnny

    I was having a bad day but after reading this my whole mindset had changed thank you so much for writing this I needed it.

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